---
title: "Taboo Topics: The Teen Identity Crisis"
description: How can parents help their teen who is struggling with their identity?
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---

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# Taboo Topics: The Teen Identity Crisis

[Diana La](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/author/diana-la)  Oct 20, 2026, 1:57:43 PM

Helping your children grow into their own unique identity is one of the most important tasks given to a parent. Each child is made in the image of God, yet, has to navigate their way through the years of formation as they grow into the persona they were created to be. With all the noise and distractions of the world around them, some teens may struggle figuring out what that means for them. That is where conversations between parents and teens become so pivotal for growth.

### ![BCancerLunch-187-2](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/hs-fs/hubfs/BCancerLunch-187-2.jpg?width=780&height=439&name=BCancerLunch-187-2.jpg)

### Keep Communication Lines Open

The best thing a parent can do to help their child grow into their own confident self is by having frequent and open conversations. By laying down the groundwork at a young age with open conversations and providing a space of comfort in sharing about their life, parents and their teens will be able to continuously open up about how they feel even on the hardest of days.

Though a normal part of adolescence, parents are sometimes caught off guard when a child has identity questions about their values, and sense of self. Helping a child feel confident in their identity means helping them find a firm foundation in who God says they are regardless of social status, achievements, and appearance. By reminding your child that they are “fully known, deeply loved, and purposefully made by God,” you are enabling them to find strength in God’s Truth (Psalm 139:1, Romans 8:38-39, Psalm 139:13-14)

 

### ![MP106492-2](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/hs-fs/hubfs/MP106492-2.jpg?width=780&height=439&name=MP106492-2.jpg)

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a mother of three, clinical psychologist who created a parenting platform called “Good Inside” based on her passion for strengthening the parent-child relationship. She explains that confident children will not always feel that they are the best at the things that they do, yet they do feel that it’s okay to be themselves even when they are not the best. She encourages parents to start small and without pressure explaining that “confidence doesn't get built in big speeches. It gets built in the regular moments, like the car ride home, the fight about homework, the night before a new thing. If these feel awkward to say at first, that's okay… Say them anyway. Your kid won't care that it sounds rehearsed, they'll just hear that you see them” [(Good Inside)](https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=28738551422443704).

### Why Connection is Critical for Teens

Strong bonds with adults and friends at school, at home and in the community help foster connection and resilience, according to the CDC. Yet only 58% of U.S. youth say they receive the social and emotional support they need[(CDC).](https://www.cdc.gov/mental-health/about-data/community-connection.html)<https://www.cdc.gov/mental-health/about-data/community-connection.html>

Parents play an important role in providing that support. Emotional support and appropriate limits are linked to healthier adolescent development and closer parent-child relationships, and parental support can be especially protective for teens who lack strong support from friends. Even when it may feel like a struggle to connect with your teen, your efforts do not go unnoticed [(HHS](https://opa.hhs.gov/adolescent-health/healthy-relationships-adolescence)).<https://opa.hhs.gov/adolescent-health/healthy-relationships-adolescence>

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Keeping a Biblical Worldview

When your child calls into question their purpose or their own identity, how can you remind them of God’s truth? Teens are looking for authentic reasons to embrace a personal view of who they are in this world. They may question their role at school, their belief system, their sexuality, and why they even exist. It’s normal for them to continually evaluate their place in the world. Independent thought and curiosity is a normal stage of growing up. Parents can use Scripture to point them to the big picture. But what does the Bible say about the identity of God’s children?

*For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.* — Psalm 139:13-14 ESV

*So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.* — Genesis 1:27 NIV

*For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.* — Ephesians 2:10

*For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.* — Romans 8:38-39

 

![VSoftball-88](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/hs-fs/hubfs/VSoftball-88.jpg?width=780&height=439&name=VSoftball-88.jpg)

### The Gift of a God-Given Identity

In the Taboo Series episode of the [*From The Mount*](https://youtu.be/VlQ4omdjCyo?si=8fFaUTrrKsG-mlQ2) podcast with host Steve Kyle and New York Times bestselling author Mo Isom Aiken, they describe identity as a gift determined by God rather than a choice made through feelings, circumstances or cultural influences. Regardless of feelings or circumstances, God created people in his image as male and female — both different and intentional with significant roles in God’s design. Aiken furthers this idea explaining that people are made to reflect God’s character and men and women do so in distinct ways. Embracing the belief that God intentionally created each person as male or female can foster confidence in who they were created to be. Together, they encourage people to trust what they understand as God’s intentional design rather than allow changing feelings or cultural messages to define who they are.

Instead of lecturing, Kyle suggests asking thoughtful questions such as, “What do you love about how God made you?” and “Why did God give you a physical body?” These conversations can help children explore what it means to be created by God and connect that understanding to how they speak to and treat others.

 

![DSC07794-2](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/hs-fs/hubfs/DSC07794-2.jpg?width=780&height=439&name=DSC07794-2.jpg)

### How Can You Support a Teen Who is Struggling With Identity?

Start with connection. Create a safe space for honest conversations, listen without rushing to correct and give your teen time to name their feelings. Ask gentle, open-ended questions:

— What has been on your mind lately?  
— Has something happened that made you feel unsure of yourself?  
— What do you wish others understood about you?

Share Scripture as a source of encouragement, not a way to shut down difficult questions. Aiken encourages parents to help teens navigate changing emotions while learning to build healthy friendships while Kyle emphasizes staying lovingly engaged as children become more independent, giving them room to grow, understand their beliefs and make their faith their own.

### Make Faith Part of Everyday Life

In a Christian home, everyday moments offer opportunities to remind children that they are known, loved and valued by God.

— Pray and read the Bible together.  
— Talk honestly about your own struggles and how you seek God through them.  
— Notice their gifts, celebrate their efforts and offer loving feedback.  
— Encourage relationships with trusted mentors, church leaders and supportive friends.

Keep encouragement specific and grounded in love:

- — “I see how much effort you put into that.”
- — “God gave you gifts that you can continue to develop.”
- — “This didn’t go as you hoped, but we can work through what comes next.”
- — “You don’t have to be like everyone else to be loved or valued.”

When comparisons arise, remind your teen that their worth does not depend on matching a sibling, classmate, or influencer.

### ![DSC07825-2](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/hs-fs/hubfs/DSC07825-2.jpg?width=3804&height=2140&name=DSC07825-2.jpg)

### Support Growth Through Challenges

Sissy Goff and David Thomas, counselors and co-hosts of the Raising Boys & Girls podcast, encourage parents to offer steady support without shielding children from every difficulty. In “The Crisis of Capability in Kids,” they explain that navigating challenges, resolving conflicts and experiencing disappointment provide opportunities to build resilience. By acknowledging children’s feelings, normalizing everyday nervousness and encouraging small acts of courage, parents can help them develop confidence in their ability to handle difficult situations. They explain that “the primary factor in kids moving to resilience is one safe, steady, consistent adult. One” ([Capable Podcast](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GyoXxrvutM)).

Acknowledge your teen’s feelings while encouraging manageable steps forward. The goal is not to dismiss struggles, but to help teens recognize that they can face difficult situations with support. Recognize when more support is needed

Questions about identity do not automatically signal a crisis. Pay attention, however, when distress persists or interferes with school, relationships, sleep, eating or everyday life. Persistent hopelessness, withdrawal, self-harm or major behavioral changes warrant professional support.

Above all, keep your relationship a place where questions are welcome and love is not conditional. The goal is not to raise a teen who never struggles, but one who knows they do not have to face those struggles alone.

---

*Diana La is the Assistant Director of Communications at Mount Paran Christian School.* 

[Click here to listen to the "From The Mount" Mount Paran Christian School podcast channel.](https://info.mtparanschool.com/fromthemount)

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- [be a good christian](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/be-a-good-christian)
- [spiritual development](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/spiritual-development)
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- [christian education Bible](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/christian-education-bible)
- [MPCS Bible](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/mpcs-bible)
- [MPCS alumni](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/mpcs-alumni)
- [alumni christian high school](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/alumni-christian-high-school)
- [core values](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/core-values)
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- [christian school core values](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/christian-school-core-values)
- [core values private school Georgia](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/core-values-private-school-georgia)
- [missional christian school](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/missional-christian-school)
- [mission-driven school](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/mission-driven-school)
- [Christian Life at MPCS](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/christian-life-at-mpcs)
- [Pursuit of excellence in school strategy](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/pursuit-of-excellence-in-school-strategy)
- [pursuing excellence independent school](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/pursuing-excellence-independent-school)
- [Spiritual Life in school](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/spiritual-life-in-school)
- [Hope in Jesus](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/hope-in-jesus)
- [looking for hope](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/looking-for-hope)
- [hope instilled in students](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/hope-instilled-in-students)
- [MPCS Christian Life](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/mpcs-christian-life)
- [raising elementary school children](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/raising-elementary-school-children)
- [parenting elementary kids](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/parenting-elementary-kids)
- [Best of Cobb Best Private School](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/best-of-cobb-best-private-school)
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- [best of Cobb best preschool](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/best-of-cobb-best-preschool)
- [best christian school in marietta](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/best-christian-school-in-marietta)
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- [Best preschool in marietta](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/best-preschool-in-marietta)
- [best preschool in Kennesaw](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/best-preschool-in-kennesaw)
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- [best christian school in smyrna](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/best-christian-school-in-smyrna)
- [best christian school in powder springs](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/best-christian-school-in-powder-springs)
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- [best christian school Acworth](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/best-christian-school-acworth)
- [best christian school Kennesaw](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/best-christian-school-kennesaw)
- [Bible curriculum lower school](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/bible-curriculum-lower-school)
- [best of Cobb preschool](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/best-of-cobb-preschool)
- [best preschool kennesaw](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/best-preschool-kennesaw)
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- [best high school marietta](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/best-high-school-marietta)
- [truth telling raising christian kids](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/truth-telling-raising-christian-kids)
- [Parenting Advice](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/parenting-advice)
- [Best Teachers in Georgia](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/best-teachers-in-georgia)
- [parenting tips](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/parenting-tips)
- [parenting girls](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/parenting-girls)
- [christian parenting](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/christian-parenting)
- [Christian education value](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/christian-education-value)
- [parenting boys](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/parenting-boys)
- [biblical parenting](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/biblical-parenting)
- [parenting as christians](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/parenting-as-christians)
- [parenting in a modern world](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/parenting-in-a-modern-world)
- [conversations with teenagers](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/conversations-with-teenagers)
- [parenting teens](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/parenting-teens)
- [taboo topics](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/taboo-topics)
- [taboo](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/taboo)
- [tough conversations](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/tough-conversations)
- [hard conversations](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/hard-conversations)
- [leading teens](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/leading-teens)
- [teen dating](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/teen-dating)
- [raising teens](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/raising-teens)
- [identity](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/identity)
- [children and identity](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/children-and-identity)
- [teen identity](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/teen-identity)
- [struggling with identity](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/topic/struggling-with-identity)

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## *WingTips*

 Welcome to *WingTips*, a Mount Paran Christian School Blog. The MPCS Blog features many independent school contributors and thought-leaders.

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### Recent Posts

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#### Learn More About MPCS

### Recommended Series

#### PRIVATE SCHOOL PRIMER:

- [How School Choice Programs Increase Educational Opportunities for Families](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/how-school-choice-programs-increase-educational-opportunities-for-families)
- [5 Tips for Making the Middle to High School Transition](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/5-tips-for-middle-to-high-school-transition)
- [What Families Should Expect](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/from-the-teachers-desk-what-families-should-expect)
- [2 Most Important Things to Consider When Choosing a Preschool](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/2-most-important-things-to-consider-when-choosing-a-preschool)
- [4 Benefits of Choosing a K-12 School for Life](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/4-benefits-choosing-k12-independent-school)
- [3 Reasons Why I Believe in Christian Schools](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/3-reasons-why-i-believe-in-christian-schools)
- [7 Tips for Affording a Private School Education](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/7-tips-for-affording-a-private-school-education)
- [4 Reasons We Chose Mount Paran Christian School](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/4-reasons-we-chose-mount-paran-christian-school)
- [How to Choose the Best Private School for Your Family](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/how-to-choose-the-best-private-school-for-your-family)
- [4 Methods to Meet Every Learner Where They Are](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/4-methods-to-meet-every-learner-where-they-are)

#### PARENTEd. TALKS:

- [Helping Students Boost Their Brain Capacity for Success](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/helping-students-boost-their-brain-capacity-for-success)
- [Teaching Children Fiscal Responsibility](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/teaching-children-fiscal-responsibility)
- [Tips for Parents to Help Teens Avoid Drugs and Alcohol](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/parented-tips-parents-help-teens-avoid-drugs-alcohol)
- [Excelling in the Midst of Adversity](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/excelling-in-midst-of-adversity)
- [3 Tips for Navigating the Hidden Dangers of Social Media](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/parented-3-tips-navigating-hidden-dangers-social-media)
- [The Blessing of a B Minus](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/parented-wendy-mogel-blessing-of-a-b-minus)
- [Real Talk for Moms](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/parented-real-talk-for-moms)

#### COLLEGE SERIES:

- [Finding the Right Fit - An Individualized Approach to College Counseling](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/finding-the-right-fit)
- [ParentEd.: Here’s What You Need to Know About College Admissions](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/heres-what-you-need-to-know-about-college-admissions)
- [To Save or Not to Save: 529 Plans are the Question](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/private-school-529)
- [College Admissions: A Marathon, Not a Sprint](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/college-admissions-a-marathon-not-a-sprint)

#### FROM THE TEACHER’S DESK:

- [The Importance of Play](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/the-importance-of-play)
- [What Families Should Expect](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/from-the-teachers-desk-what-families-should-expect)
- [Play is Learning Through the Arts](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/play-is-learning-through-the-arts)
- [4 Tips to Capture the Minds of Your Students](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/4-tips-to-capture-students-attention)

#### CHRISTIAN LIFE:

- [What is a Covenant School?](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/what-is-a-covenant-school)
- [Seeing Through a New Lens: A Biblical Worldview](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/biblical-worldview)
- [Faith and Intellect as One](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/faith-and-intellect-as-one)
- [Philosophy of Belonging: 4 Tips for Fostering a Diverse Culture](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/4-tips-fostering-diverse-culture)
- [Innovation in Education: Teaching Cultural Awareness](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/innovations-in-education-teaching-cultural-awareness)
- [A Call to Brotherhood: Martin Luther King Jr.’s Wisdom for Today](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/call-to-brotherhood-mlk-wisdom-for-today)
- [CommUNITY: How Do We Love One Another?](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/how-to-love-one-another)
- [Campaign for CommUNITY](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/campaign-for-community)
- [How to Raise Empathetic Children in Today’s Culture](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/how-to-raise-empathetic-children-in-todays-culture)
- [Imageo Dei: Why Diversity Matters](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/imago-dei-why-diversity-matters)
- [Praying for Their Future](https://blog.mtparanschool.com/praying-for-their-future)

*Providing academic excellence in a Christ-centered environment, Mount Paran Christian School unites with home and church to prepare servant-leaders to honor God, love others, and walk in Truth.*

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#### Mount Paran Christian School

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 Kennesaw, GA 30152

P: (470) 250-0008

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#### Resources

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#### Accreditations

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